Evil Tadpole

Halloween pictures

2007-10-30T13:06:00.000-05:00

Courtesy of J's camera --

Just a few pictures showing off everybody's costume. Enjoy!

Ahh, me as the St. Paulies girl. I'm glad I had my stein with me because that beer line was too damn long.

Kelly as Tammy the Used Tampon. Most popular costume at anyplace we were at.

Dave as Mysterio!! Do not under estimate him.

Jim as a creepy caveman. Or werewolf, whatever works. He was able to drink through that thing though, pretty impressive.

Kristen as Auraline - Pirate of the Skies!! I got her business card.

Justyna and Kristen. Justyna rocking the 70s swinger version of Cleopatra.

Kristen, Dave and Paul. I thought Paul was going as a homeless guy, but apparently he was the elephant man.

Say it loud, say it proud...

2007-08-31T08:43:00.000-05:00

I'm proud of my birth state.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/worldlatest/story/0,,-6888018,00.html

Ha ha!! One of my recipes have made it onto a recipe site.

2007-06-01T16:25:00.001-05:00

Spicy Salmon Melt

Pictures of New Sculpture

2007-04-20T10:54:00.000-05:00

Here are some pictures of a recently finished sculpture. As many of you know or may not know, I got burned out on painting and have now switched my artistic endeavors to sculpture. I also must thank my friend Yilmaz for taking there pictures for me. This is the first one I've ever done that has been clay built and fired. Some cracking issues, but I found out that was mostly due to a bad batch of high fire white clay.

Ol'boy here now resides at the residence of my friend Kim.

I'm a dork to the nth degree

2007-02-09T16:23:00.000-06:00

So the other night I was watching one of my favorite shows, History Detectives, on PBS. On one of the segments they were researching whether a set of books once belonged to John Calhoun. Of course the books were Gibbons full set of The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire. As they were discussing this book and how many of the United States founding members had read it, I decided that I must now read it too. So of course I went out and bought a full seven volume set. Abridged versions are for bitches. I'll let y'all know how it was. It'll probably take me a year to read it all, but I could use what I learn from this book to take over the world.

The Innocent Shall Suffer...Big Time

2007-02-01T14:03:00.000-06:00

Boston gets hit with terrorism threats!!

Goin' to Grandma's house!! Goin' to get drunk and start fires!!

2006-07-28T13:14:00.000-05:00

So tonight I'm off to Iowa with my cousins Kate and Amanda, where we will be having our first annual older grand-daughters get loaded at grandma's house and lets start a bonfire fest. Because there are so many of us, we had to limit the group. I think to qualify you must be part of the Vanni clan, be a lady and at least 16. I'm leaving right after work today and didn't realize this morning exactly how heavy my bag would be. You see, I only need two days worth of clothing and all those who know me, know that I am a light packer. Well included in my bag is four bottles of wine and two bottles of vodka. And then my arm almost fell off this morning. But hey at least I can see again.

Yes friends I managed to screw up my eyes something good about a week ago. My allergies showed up early this year and all the nasty crust on my eyes scratched up my eyeballs, so it looked like I had been partacking in some activites that most would deem illegal. But, I took the day off yesterday. I took a vacation from sight and movement (because its not enough that my eyes got screwed, I twisted my ankle on the way to work too... I've been wearing quite the fashionable ankle brace for the last week).

Anywho, must attend to a meeting. I will eventually write again. I promise.

So Bored!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-06-20T14:28:00.000-05:00

I'm having an exciting day at work archiving tables I'm pulling off the database. The boredom is killing me! Apparently people miss me at work when I'm gone. I got so many "Glad your back!" comments yesterday. I had an exciting week in Schaumburg to do more SQL Server training. I thought I'd post this picture for my engineering brothas!! You know who you are.

I have returned.....

2006-06-05T16:00:00.000-05:00

First off, Happy Birthday Jess!!! Remember, no matter how old I get, you'll always be older than me. HA! HA! HA!

Second. I had quite the eventful weekend, filled with what else? Drinking, with some Germans, Pugs and kite chasing dogs thrown into the mix. So Friday, after work, myself and a few fellow employees of my company that will go unnamed when out for drinks after work. Now to start off, I had only eaten a muffin all day. You already know I'm heading down the wrong path. So I start downing Maker's Mark Manhattans at the Rail, when the wonderful idea of going to Mayfest came. Now if case you don't know Mayfest is a German festival that takes place in June, cause that's how the Germans roll! So I'm already half in the bag at this point, which means I should get a huge stein of beer. Which I did. And proceeded to take every conversation I was involved in down to the gutter. At some point Kells Bells showed up, which of course led to some Drunk Dialing to Jim. I still have no idea what was said, sorry Jim! Then we decided to go to spinners, which is a lesbian karaoke bar. So our group split, Kelly, Amy, Emily and I and the work guys. We were all supposed to meet up there. Of course, we get there first, decide its too busy and leave. Tried to find our missing party, but unfortunately could not. Sorry guys!! my bad. So we ended up at this total dive bar that was full of old drunkards. I got a rose from some skivvy guy and some guy named Roger kept trying to pick up our whole table. The highlight of the night came when the female bartender chased some old drunk dude out with a baseball bat. At the end of the night Jim had to come and pick us all up and take us home. I'm sure it was like trying to herd a bunch of drunken cats. Again, sorry Jim!

Saturday, started off the day stopping in work to see if my jobs I had sent to run finished, only to find that they all failed because we ran out of disc space. Then I met up with Justyna and Josh at a pug party at Joes. All the little doggies were cute, but I was still trying to recover from the night before. After the party we decided to take their pugs to the dog beach on montrose. At this time, Sadie (one of their pugs) decides that rather than pooing in the grass or on the sand, was going to on my beach blanket, and if that were not enough, 10 minutes later decides to pee on it. So laying on the blanket was out. The funnest part of the beach was watching some dog try to catch a kite flying in the air. It was smart enough to realized something was there, but not smart enough to realize it can jump 100 ft into the air. But damn, did he try. This went on for a good hour and the whole beach was cracking up. Josh then dropped Justyna, myself and Holly (another pug) off at the Belmont-Sheffield street festival. We hadn't been there in years (college was the last time), and found that either we are just getting old or the people have gotten more annoying. Either way, we found out if you ever want to attract a drunken trixie, a pug is the best way. Justyna was probably asked over 100 times if Holly could be petted. We decided that we would lose this festival and go back to Mayfest. I discovered there was a whole carnival aspect I somehow missed the night before in my drunken stupor. I decided it was best I didn't play any of the games, because the last time I played a carnival game, I threw a dart into the back of a carny. My bad again. It was definitely way more enjoyable then the Belmont-Sheffield street fest. Josh of course had to come back out and get us. And poor Holly was falling asleep while we had coffee and waited.

Sunday, I slept like the dead. I woke up to find that I must have left my cell phone on all weekend because it was completely dead. So my phone wasn't working until later in the night. So sorry to all my missed calls.

Until next weekend.

Later friends.

Everyones turning 30 and I'm gonna try my hand at not killing plants again....

2006-04-28T10:56:00.000-05:00

Yes, my dear friends, its been awhile. Whats been going on? Well all my female friends are hitting the Dirty Thirty (as coined by Jim and Kelly). First Kelly, then Antonia, next is Roz, then me, then Justyna. Jim and Kelly also got engaged, yeah for them!! Stephen and Antonia are moving to Austin, TX (there is no way in hell you'll ever get me to move there, stop trying to convince!!)

I've also decided to try to start growing vegetables on my deck with container gardening. I'm taking a gardening course on Barnes and Noble's website, so lets hope I break my trend of killing plants.

Its Day Early....

2006-03-28T14:19:00.000-06:00

But Happy Birthday motherfucker!!!

Worst Album Covers

2006-03-27T16:57:00.000-06:00

Thanks Stephen.

I joined Flickr

2006-03-21T13:32:00.000-06:00

Most of you have already seen these photos, but I'll upload more as I get them. Right now its just family and artwork, but friends will soon be joining the list.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/eviltadpole/

Booyah Grandma!!!

2006-02-24T09:30:00.000-06:00

Breaking News!!!

Well at least thats the word anyways, we'll see what happens.

I like spice

2006-02-16T12:08:00.000-06:00

So I recently went on a spice splurg after visiting the Penzeys spice store with my mom while visiting a few weeks ago. This is one of those fancy best kind of herbs and spices you can get. I recommend the smokey spanish paprika. So I took a catalog and ended up ordering about 25 spices. When you order this many spices, you really need a good spice rack.

So instead of buying one that was mediocre at best (cause I can't lay down 150 for one I like). So I've designed and bought wood and paint for my own. It should be down in a day or two, just in time for my new spices to arrive.

Yeah I know, this was a really interesting entry, but hey, this is the most exciting thing thats going on in my life right now. Go figure.

Penzeys Site

Thursday Fun: Old School... kinda

2006-02-09T10:29:00.000-06:00

I'm not sure why I suddenly remembered this, but in my senior year of college I became obsessed with Radiskull. So here is the full episode list. Enjoy!

Episode 1

Episode 2

Episode 3

Episode 4

Episode 5

Episode 6

Episode 7

Episode 8

Here's a riddle: What does Vietnam and dog pee have in common?

2006-02-07T09:36:00.000-06:00

Answer: Georgia

I bet you didn't see that one coming. Let me explain. Yesterday, before my dad took me to the train we went to have breakfast. So I decide, I'm going to get a cinammon roll with my breakfast. My dad asks "Are you sure its a good cinammon roll?"
Me: "Cinammon rolls are always good."
Dad: "Not necessarily"
Me: "Well I had a bad pecan roll once, but that was at a Waffle House in the middle of nowhere, Georgia. An old drunk guy there tried to give us money and drive us rest of the way to florida"
Dad: "Your mom and I really like Savannah. Its a great place to visit, really nice historic city. Except the bugs get really bad a night. So bad it forces you inside sometimes. Vietnam was like Georgia."

Ahhh so Vietnam is like Georgia. He meant of course in all the super bug aspect. And the living in an armpit feeling most of the year. So I thought that was pretty funny. So I come into work this morning and tell Mike, my co-worker about it.

He then relates to me his time in Georgia. Apparently he went to go visit some friends living there. Apparently this friend had an incontinent dog. The dog peed on everything and everyone. Mike said he'd sit on the couch and then get up and the side of his leg would be soaked in dog pee. How nice. He had to wash everything, including his duffle bag before he left. Needless to say he's waiting for the dog to die before he returns.

So yes, that is our connection for Vietnam and dog pee.

Project Runway

2006-01-30T15:46:00.000-06:00

So I'm officially addicted to Project Runway (again!) this season. Justyna and I have become regular commenter on Santino's blog. Today he had a link to the bonus video on the project runway site. Check it out.

Tim Gunn: "Your Designs Bring Me Closer to God"

Pandora Music Genome Project

2006-01-30T15:22:00.000-06:00

Stephen introduced this to me. Its pretty cool. You can build your own station and it will introduce you to new music based on the patterns of the actual music rather than genre. Go to http://pandora.com to create your own. Here is also a link to my station, its still in progress so don't freak out if the Dave Matthews Band shows up, I tried to cut all that crap out.

Sweet Zombie Jesus' Evil Nuts

Thursday Fun: Robot Chicken

2006-01-19T16:48:00.000-06:00

Here are some of my favorite Robot Chicken moments:

Voltron Got Served!

Michael Moore's Masters of the Universe Documentary

Empire Strikes Back

It's a Smurfy Murder

Merry Christmas

And a bonus for Justyna
Robot Duel

Holy crap! What happened to this guy?

2006-01-13T14:13:00.000-06:00

So I saw the trailer for Clerks 2. What the hell happened to Brian O'Halloran. I know after 10 years you age, by damn, what the hell happened.

Original Clerks

Clerks 2

There is still hope!

2005-12-28T11:15:00.000-06:00

Yeah!!

The Return of Thursday Fun: Favorite Games

2005-12-22T11:17:00.000-06:00

Art or Crap

Sex or Something Else

Piss Drunk

Running Jesus

Wax On Wax Hoff

The Fisher

Another reminder of Jim's B-day

2005-12-20T11:11:00.000-06:00

Peanut Butter Jelly Time (Original)

Peanut Butter Jelly Time (Family Guy)

Go Foo, Go Foo! It's your birthday, it's your birthday!

Happy Birthday Jim!!

2005-12-19T13:01:00.000-06:00

So this saturday, we all threw Jim a surprise b-day party. Kelly designated myself, Justyna and Josh in charge of setup and letting everyone in. It all ran smoothly, nobody pulled a Dave. For the first half of the night I was still recovering from a nasty migrane headache. There is a picture of Justyna, Antonia and myself all looking like corpses on the couch. I'll post it when it shows up. For most of that night I didn't even have a buzz. Then at some point I took my flask out and started to enjoy the vanilla vodka that was inside. Then the drunken adventures of Erika began. It started with me praying to the porcelin god which is all I remember. But I guess at somepoint I went outside I was told and wouldn't come in for awhile. Now mind you it was cold as hell and apparently Jim and Justyna were trying to talk me into coming inside, but I came in when I was good and ready. Then I went and spent more time in the bathroom. At which point Jim came in and tried to get me up, but I guess my legs had fallen asleep and I just fell on my side and passed out on the bathroom mat. I have no idea what time I woke up, but I moved to Jim and Kelly's couch and continued to sleep. At least I had my pants on when I woke up this time. (that's a whole other story involving my mom, my aunt and Des Moines - another adventure I had which I couldn't remember). I ended up spending most of Sunday hanging out with Jim and Kelly at their place. Kelly and I chatted while Paul and Jim played video games. Nice recovery day. At least I didn't have a hangover when I woke up. Below are some pictures and short movies from the party that Josh took. These will also be posted on his blog, but I'll post more as they show up.

And to really feel the vibe, check out some short video clips from the night. Thanks Josh!! (you'll need quicktime or something similar to view these)

Terry as W

Jim and Kelly's romance in action

Terry and Stephen demonstrate their manliness

Becky does not want to be videoed!!!

Yes, I'm a loser :(

2005-12-15T16:36:00.000-06:00

Yes Josh, I have let my blog lapse. Been sick and busy. But oh well. Maybe the new year will bring me more time. In the mean time, here's something for you to discuss.

My Cat Hates You

Making a great impression around the world

2005-11-17T11:23:00.000-06:00

Here's a snapshot of my latest global tracker.

This made me giggle

2005-11-17T11:08:00.000-06:00

Angel sent me this.

Arkansas Bird Dogs

Amberleigh was here!!!

2005-11-15T13:38:00.000-06:00

And I miss this girl completely. But she's in New York totally doing her thing, getting roles. Oh well. So she came back for the weekend to perform for the 80th Birthday of Robert Kritz, a chicago composer. I enjoy here company greatly. There was also an interesting piece of advice dispensed by Stephonia, but you will have to visit MySpace blog for that one.

We have met Naked Man and his name is Rick!

2005-11-07T10:36:00.000-06:00

So on Friday, a good chunck of us, including (surprise, surprise) Tina went to McGees for free alcohol for two hours. While there, it happened to be eighties night, in which Kelly and myself kept winning every trivia question posed. So after awhile we were told we couldn't win again and the guy started asking us for trivia questions. But hey, I got three free shots of Jagger out of the deal. So once the two hours were up, we went to Liar's Club. Yes, the home of Naked Man. Well we get their earlier then we ever have before, so we didn't have to pay a cover and besides ourselves a small group of chicks and Naked Man, but with his clothes on. I have to hand it to Justyna, I would never have realized it was the same guy. So we ended up talking to him for quite awhile, what his story was, and how did he end up becoming the Naked Guy at Liar's Club. So the story goes like this:

He was there with two female friends. The song "Hot in Here" came on and they started suedo stripping. So he played along and they dared him to take it all off. Apparently Rick is also a nudist, so he didn't care and chucked all his clothes off. So everyone there got a kick out of it, and the next time he went people were asking him to do it again, because they had friends who weren't there last time and didn't believe them. So he did it again, and now my friends it has become a staple for the club.

We also found out Josh and Rick work for the same company.

So here's to you Rick and your naked ways! Rock on my brotha!

Thursday Fun: Rednecks, Hillbillies, and White Trash Oh My!!

2005-11-03T16:53:00.000-06:00

Here it goes, short and sweet since I don't have much time today. Also a bonus, my current favorite commercial on air.

Hillbilly Name Generator

White Trash Test
Here's how I scored:

I am 36% White Trash.

The white trash in my blood will not keep me from becoming a doctor or a lawyer, but it will keep me from a good haircut and any sort of fashion sense.

Take the
White Trash Test
@ FualiDotCom

The Tale of Bubba Claus

Redneck Neighbor

And my bonus for the day, nothing to do with rednecks, but funny none the less:
Geico Cavemen

Thanksgiving is almost upon us....

2005-11-01T12:10:00.000-06:00

I talked to my mom yesterday about planning for the holiday etc. etc. etc. And it seems that a certain Brother-In-Law does not understand what it means to have particular foods for our celebration. First off, there must be the tortelli soup. There is no other. Second, not make ravioli, is that the voice of Satan I am hearing? I know my sister will give you the proper beat down you deserve. We must have our foods, or an unholy terror like you never witnessed before will befall you. I behove you Chris, watch it!!

Okay, now thats out of the way, my mom also told me that my brother had another dog freak out in front of the trick or treaters. Yup, it wouldn't be a holiday without it. I also learned that my little nephew has now uttered his first curse word "Dammit" when my sis forced him to go to the bathroom before trick or treating. I'll have to teach him some more creative ones when I get back for Thanksgiving.

So once again, I have been missed. Don't you people have a life of your own?

2005-10-31T12:19:00.000-06:00

So I haven't posted alot in the last two weeks due to being in Schaumburg for a Java class all week while deathly ill, then returning to work for only three days, as I had vacation Thursday and Friday. The Sox winning the world series couldn't have come at a better time for me. So to catch all you up on my oh so exciting life here were the events of last week.

Most importantly: Sox win!!! I watched every game since the playoffs began. I remember telling Dave early on in the season, that the Sox just may do it. He said, in his usual Dave way, that they will crumble. Of course he has no memory of this conversation. How convienent. I also believe that I just may be the Sox good luck charm, therefore some wealthy Sox fan needs to buy me season tickets for next year. That would be oh so kind. Let me explain, you see I'm whats called a passive baseball fan. I'm a chicago fan, not really a cubs or sox fan, although I detest a good percentage of the cubs "fanbase", as illustrated in my earlier blog:
It's so funny because he's so soft and I'm so hard....

So I say I'm good luck because I didn't watch the first half of the third game. I tune in right at the top of the fifth, you know when the sox were down 0-4. Then right in front of my eyes, its 1 2 3 4 and 5. Of couse knowing it was me who caused all this, I had to watch the game to the bitter end. Yes I was quite tired the next morning. I know Jim thinks I'm full of it right now, but you just wait Jim, I will lend my luck to another team next year, maybe the Blackhawks, they've sucked for quite some time. I'll only lend my support to the cubs again when I'm able to get half way decent seats after trying to buy some when they go on sale.

Okay on to the next moment of the week: Angie's band rocks out at Wise Fools Pub. First off, it was nice because I didn't have to work at all the next day so not only could I drink, but I could riot when the Sox won. I ran into some old collegues that night, Simon and Brian, they run the showcase that Angie played with. It's called GoJangle.com. Check it out, y'all. So I got drunk, Angie's band played, Justyna, Jessica and I dance for the riot cops who were out, and all went well except until the end when this hippy jackass wanted to play. It was around midnight and Double Fortune had already played for a good hour and half. She wanted to wrap it up because hey she had to work in a few hours and needed some sleep. Well after two encores (and a very fun rendition of Yellow Submarine with the whole audience getting involved), she wanted to pack it up. Well the hippy jackass comes up and says she should play more, she says no, she's gotta go, but if he wants to play he should ask the sound guys. Hippy jackass asks the sound guy, he says yes, then goes back to Angie and asks if he can borrow her guitar, she reluctently lets him borrow it for one song while she packs up everything else. Well Hippy jackass starts to jam, for like 15 minutes. She asks him nicely to let her have her guitar back because she's gotta go home. He gives it up then says to her some bullshit about how all she cares about is making money and isn't into music for the love of it. That just pissed her off. Ungrateful Hippy jackass, her job is the reason she has the guitar and he doesn't. Fucker.

Okay and final week event: Dave's pumpkin carving party. So because I had two days off, I told Dave I could help out if he wanted. He handed me $30 and told me to pick up some snacks. Little did I know I would end up catering the whole party. It went off without a hitch. Roz and I decided not to carve pumpkins, but rather heckle everyone else's efforts. Dave's friend Ethan(or was it Evan?) from work had probably the best costume. He was a hick with the most realistic fake hillbilly teeth I've ever seen. He was in character the whole time, so much so, that people thought that those where his real teeth and he was that weird. Well he is that weird, but not a hillbilly. My favorite moment of the night was the sensual commentary he gave while Jim was eating a chocolate dipped strawberry. It was fun, Dave has been doing this every year for the last few years. As a matter of fact it was my 4th or 5th year anniversary of meeting Jim (sorry buddy, but it feels like I've known you forever at this point).

Anywho, thats the wrap up of this week. I promise I will do a thursday fun this week. I'll do it in honor of Ethan.

Oh yeah, Happy Halloween! And Kelly, if your going to be a zombie pin-up girl next year, I think I want to be a dead hooker.

This is so very, very wrong

2005-10-26T16:26:00.000-05:00

So this was found on this website: http://www.thephatphree.com/

Very similar to the Onion, very funny. I found this site on Craigslist with this story:
Look at my Striped Shirt

My illness is your death

2005-10-25T09:48:00.000-05:00

So, if you read my previous blog entry, yes friends, Kesha has taken revenge of the viral sort. You see that weekend she was getting over strep throat and bronchitis. Apparently it was supposed to be a bacterial infection, except that myself and her brother are now both incredibly ill. I find myself getting sick easier and easier these days, I'm sure it has something to do with the ventelation system at my office, its a haven for disease. Anyways, evertime I get ill I begin to think of those post-apoctolyptic plague movies. You know the ones where everyone dies except the few who are immune. You know like the movie The Stand (or the book if you will). I realized that no, I will not be one of the lucky survivors. I'd probably be one of the first to die and be tossed into the burning pit of corpses that always seem to appear. You probably will too. There's your happy thought for the day.

Waking me from sleep could be hazardous to your health

2005-10-17T16:52:00.000-05:00

This weekend, Kesha and I took a miny vacation to Oak Brook to see her brother compete in a Chess tournament. There's really not much to watch, but it was interesting to see what type of people show up for those sorts of things. Kesha's brother has a rating of 2306, so he was placed in the expert level. There were also about 6 grand masters there (from what I understand you have to be at least a 2500 and have some serious wins under your belt). Needless to say, Bill got his ass handed to him on a platter. But I digress. Most of the weekend we spent shopping. I bought a sweet flask for use on my camping and hiking trips, a $3 skirt, and a whole load of patterned tights that were on sale for about a buck a piece. Now getting back to the title. For those of you who know me well, especially family and former roomates, you know the perils that go along with trying to wake me from my sleep. Apparently at some point in the night I stole Kesha's pillow and was wrapped around it tightly. I remember vaguely her trying to take it in the middle of the night, but I didn't let go. Apparently what really happened is that I yelled "It's mine!" then smacked her. I believe here completely since I've done the same to Roz and my sister. Although my sister did deserve that and more. She use to jump on me when I was sleeping then pin me so I couldn't move then lick the side of my face. She was a cruel, cruel woman.

The moral of this story, is I love sleep and don't try to wake me up. You'll get your ass kicked.

Thursday Fun: How to be Evil

2005-10-13T07:55:00.000-05:00

Why evil? Because it's fun and a viable career path.

This is your overall comprehensive guide to being Evil
The Evil Guide

Advice for Evil Rulers

(scroll down a bit on website....)
The Top 100 Things I'd Do
If I Ever Became An Evil Overlord

Because you really can't be Evil without a cat, here are some possible choices for your new pet.
Evil Cats

And now you can test your evilness.....

How evil are you?
(by the way, that's my score! MWHAAAHAAA!!)

I need a patron.....

2005-10-10T11:20:00.000-05:00

to buy me this. Who wants to help a girl out?

http://www.dickblick.com/zz502/84/

or if you're really loaded, this is my dream.

http://www.dickblick.com/zz515/56/
and this

http://www.dickblick.com/zz501/88/

Thursday Fun: You Should be Dancing!

2005-10-06T10:51:00.000-05:00

Some of these are old favorites, others are just bizarre. Just how I like it.

Dance, White Boy, Dance!
What's really embarassing is that I do this too!

How to dance like a White Guy

How to Dance Properly
This was part of Friday fun years ago.

Turkish Dance
Watch your head!

Dog Dancing
I saw this on King of the Hill and thought it was joke. Apparently its not.

What would you do for Popeye's Chicken?

2005-10-05T11:46:00.000-05:00

So a new Popeye's has opened up a few blocks from my house. Hooray!!! So yesterday, Roz drove me to the Fed Ex in Skokie so that I could retrieve a package. On our way back we passed the Popeye's and she brought up "Remeber when we went to Popeye's that one day?" The day of course she was talking about was shortly after we graduated from college. It was early winter, can't remember the exact month. But one night we decided we just had to have fried chicken. We were roomates at the time living around Lawrence and Damen. At that time, the closest fried chicken place was Popeye's on Irving Park and Ashland. So, because it had just started to snow lightly, we bundled up and got on the El to go a few stops down to Irving Park. Well in this short amount of time, the snow had turned into blizzard like conditions. Now a smart person would realize that it would only get worse and would turn around and go right back home, but not us. We had fried chicken on the brain and decided that we would not go home empty handed. What a normal five minute walk from the El turned into a fifteen minute walk, with the wind pushing us in the opposite direction. By the time we got there, we were of course covered in snow that immediatly began to melt into a pool of water. Well we got our chicken, of course we were going to bring it home, because why would you want hot chicken in the actual store when you could drag it home through a blizzard. So we once again make our way back to the El stop get on board and go to our Damen stop. When we got off, two feet of snow had now accumilated. So we trudged through two feet of snow with more of it falling every second and manage to get home to enjoy our now lukewarm, slightly wet fried chicken.

Whats the moral of this story you ask? Nothing can stop me from having fried chicken when I'm in the mood.

But as good as Popeye's is, it still can't compare to Harold's chicken. That's the shiznit!

I love me some fried chicken.

Thursday Fun: Robots

2005-09-29T10:02:00.000-05:00

Just because I like Robots.

Killer Japanese Seizure Robots
Cyborg Name Generator
Gay Robots
Vintage Robot Porn
Pimpbot 5000 Clip

Somebody's gonna get an ass kickin...

2005-09-28T11:14:00.000-05:00

So I come into work this morning to find out that some jackass had deleted a central program I wrote. Now if it was a mistake I could understand, but yesterday someone had deleted an entire folder with all of our departments reports. And now come to find out that the export team had their Nafta file mysteriously disappear three days ago. This does not seem like a coincidence to me. Three major items for our company mysteriously get deleted over three days. Help Desk is doing a trace now and when I find out who did it, they better watch their ass. I'm out for blood.

Smitty's had the best tenderloins!

2005-09-27T16:26:00.000-05:00

You Know You're From Iowa When...

Vacation means driving through the Amanas or going to Adventureland

Down South to you means Missouri

You have no problem spelling or pronouncing "Des Moines"

You know the answer to the question, :"Is this Heaven?"

You know where all the Yoders live (or Andersons, or Van den Bergs)

You know what "hawks" and "clones" are

All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit or vegetable

You can locate Iowa on the map

You've ever been on a "Geode Hunt"

Your idea of a really great tenderloin is when the meat is twice as big as the bun and is accompanied only by ketchup and a dill pickle slice

You say "catty-wampus" instead of "kitty-corner"

You've never taken public transportation

You have boiled fish in lye for Christmas

You know what "uff-da" means and how to use it properly

You know what "Amish Country" is

The only reason you go to Wisconsin or Missouri is to get fireworks

You know exactly where "Field of Dreams" was filmed

When someone says they are going out for dinner or supper, you know which meal they are talking about. You listen to "Paul Harvey" every day at noon.

You think of the major food groups as deer meat, beer, corn, and soy nuts.

You're pulled over and asked by the cop, "Had a little to much to drink, (your first name here)?

You own the complete "Dukes of Hazzard" video collection.

"Hick" is a style of clothing.

You can use the words, 'crik', 'holler', and 'skunk weed' in the same sentence.

Your Christmas gift, when you were ten years old was a shotgun (a BB gun if you were a 'townie').

You know someone personally who is involved in meth trade or manufacture.

Your idea of a party is throwing cans of WD40 in a campfire while you're drunk.

You've been to a rave in a barn.

You've had sex in the back of a truck ... amid cows.

You know that cows don't sleep standing up.

You're concerned about the rates of corn growth in Illinois as compared to that of Iowa's.

You listen to Ag Day at 6AM ... two hours after you get up in the morning.

You believe that trees in Iowa lean towards Nebraska ... because Nebraska sucks!

You know several people who still refer to Japanese cars as "rice-burners."

"Styx" plays a concert at the county fair, and people actually show up.

You don't get nervous when you walk into a biker bar (unless you're an Iowa City cop).

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Iowa.

Get Your Own "You Know You're From" Meme Here

More cool things for your blog at
Blogthings

Naked Man Strikes Again!

2005-09-26T11:42:00.000-05:00

So this last weekend we all celebrated Justyna's birthday. Friday night about 18 of us had a lovely dinner at DragonFly then moved on the the Buzz Club (I think thats the name, who knows). Anyways, it was kinda lame except the free drinks for the first hour. So we drank as much as possible then resumed the party at the Liar's club. Now some of the people who were at J's party had heard of the naked man from my birthday, yet did not believe us. But once again, he was there shakin all he had (which wasn't a whole lot, Justyna still contends he's a grower). So, first the people who didn't believe us were amazed. Then, as a said in one of my previous entries, I decided to actually look up. So the guy had kinda buzzed greyish hair and was probably not much taller than me, most likely somewhere between 5'9" and 5'11". So besides naked man, we got good and drunk. I lost an earring and bracelet. Jim kept getting harrassed by a guy who said he looked like Paul Reubens, Dave got laid (yeah Dave!!! - as he was crossing the street with his lady we were pumping our fists in the air yelling "Go Dave") and Jeanne was getting hit on by two guys at once. I ended up going back to Josh and Justyna's place where we endulged in white castles then passed out.

The next day, I woke up with a ragin hangover and prayed at the alter of the porcelain god. We rented Shaun of the Dead which Justyna loved like I knew she would and we got Harolds Chicken. Now I haven't had Harold's Chicken since it closed in uptown, I love that stuff, but there must be some weird hallucenagenics in that chicken because I had the most bizarre and vivid dreams that night. I found out that Josh did too. That's some crazy ass crap.

Anyways, I spent the rest of the weekend recovering. I'm gettin old.

Thursday Fun!!

2005-09-22T13:36:00.000-05:00

Okay, do some of you fools remember a few years ago when I did Friday Fun emails. Well I'm going to resurrect it, and this time it'll be on Thursday, five links, all themed. These will always be some of the most bizarre links I've found. And yes, I do have too much time on my hands.

And in the spirit of resurrection, the first theme will be Jesus. If you have any themes you would like me to explore, email me directly.

Pirate Jesus (Arrghhh Mateys!!)
Jesus of the Week
Dress-Me-Up Jesus
For all those questions I can't answer, Just Ask Jesus
Jesus H. Christ Traveling Show

Yes, I do know I'm going to hell, I'll see you there.

Ivan and Me

2005-09-19T15:47:00.000-05:00

So I was chatting with someone on Myspace talking about art and I thought about my favorite artist Ivan Albright. For those of you who don't know, Ivan Albright is the artist I really try to emulate although I'm not quite to his skill level as of yet. So here's a short preview of his works.

This is a picture of the man himself:

Cute old man, isn't he!

And here are some of my favorite works:

"Into this world came a soul called Ida Mae"

"That which I should have done, I did not do"

"The picture of Dorian Grey"

And this is per your request Josh

2005-09-13T17:21:00.000-05:00

Here's an early B-day present Justyna

2005-09-13T17:05:00.000-05:00

Sex in the kitchen
Pass the dinner rolls

He's a grower not a shower.....

2005-09-12T11:33:00.000-05:00

So my 29th has come and gone and it was quite an event. On Friday we started off at the Red Lion Pub. Angela, Kim and I went right away after work. I introduced Angela to the joy of the snakebite. I don't know what it is about that mixture that causes drunkenness so fast. I had been telling Angela about this place, about it reportedly being haunted for oh a week or so. So we are talking about it to our waiter and he's telling us about stuff he's seen, and suddenly Angela is freaked out. So you know that a good start. Later that night I had to accompany Angela to the bathroom because apparently the ghost was jiggling the handle while she was in there. Because I've always wanted to see a ghost, of course I never see one. It might have something to do with me demanding that if a ghost is at my residence it should at least clean or something, I don't like freeloaders. Eventually everyone else shows up so we moved to the patio upstairs. And more drinking ensues. I find out that Kelly has also been accosted by Six at Women's Workout World. Anyone who works with me knows what I'm talking about. There's a special mobile only blog I wrote about Roz's incident on Josh's blog. We also got to hear about the condemned apartment that Jared lived in in Flint. Apparently he had to get a bucket of water from down the street to flush the toilet. There was also a hole in the basement floorboard that went right to the sewer system. I can't believe someone actually paid rent to live in a place like that. So by midnight we decide to move to Liars club. I was surprised to see Paul show up there, but it was a nice surprise. So we are dancing dancing dancing. I tell Justyna that I need to hear my jam (I have previous post about this called Whats your jam!). She goes to request it at the DJ booth and right as she gets there its played. So I say, hey this totally makes my night!!! Oh how wrong I was. So we are at our table by the bar and Kelly comes over and says "Hey there's a naked guy on the dance floor" So immediately all the ladies of the table take off to the dance floor to have a peak, interestingly enough none of the guys went to look. So I get my peak, and yes there is a butt-ass naked man on the floor just a jigglin it with a circle of folks around him. I come back to the table and about five minutes pass when suddenly Stephen pipes up and asks where his wife is. Of course, she's still by the naked guy. He pulls her back and she tells me Angela is dancing with the naked guy. So we go back up and sure enough within the circle of people, there's Angela doing the grind with the naked guy. Now that made my night. When the club closed we tried to pick out the guy, but unfortunately none of us knew what his face looked like. And then the usual conversation amongst women starts about the naked man and his shortcomings. In which Justyna says "He might be a grower not a shower". Ahhh what a great night.

So the next day, which was actually my birthday, Dave and Kesha took me out to dinner. It was a surprise and I had no clue where we were going. So we drive somewhere in the south loop and get to 1 Financial place. Trying to get in there is like trying to get into Fort Knox. Apparently you have to have a reservation before they will even open up the garage. At this point I still have no idea where we are headed. Earlier, Dave told me to dress up and Kesha asked to borrow my stole. I was thinking, wow the only place I'd ever wear my stole is at the Everest Club, and I know we are not going there. Well we went to the Everest Club. To fully comprehend this place, is first off the one restaurant I've always wanted to go too, but it is soooo expensive. If you've ever seen Check Please, the host is the wine person there. It was kinda bizarre to see someone you see on TV every week at their actual place of work, working. Not only did every person who worked there know it was my birthday, but we also had a fabulous table that overlooked the city and the best view of the sunset. We had the 7 course set meal with wine pairings and it was amazing. Now to understand, I've had food this good before at high quality restaurants, but what really sets this place apart is the service. I've never experienced anything like that before. Now Kesha and Dave have set the bar high for their birthdays, I'll have to see what I can do. Thanks guys, I absolutely loved it. You made a dream come true... ahhhhh.

Now to my five rules. I did not break one all weekend!!! Well, I almost broke #3, apparently some trixie tried to start a fight with Kelly, so me and Angela thought we should just go intimidate, in which of course everyone reminded me of my rules I set fourth. Kelly wouldn't tell us which chick it was. Ahh well, liquor makes me feisty.

So to all my friends, thanks for making this one of the best birthdays ever. Especially since it is my last. (I have one long year ahead of me!!)

Everyone visit Jim's Blog!

2005-09-01T08:59:00.000-05:00

So Jim has finally seen the light of day and decided to use blogspot for his blog. Check it out, under the link Cockbags Blog. Visit it.

Party Like A Rock Star

2005-08-30T08:58:00.000-05:00

That's what I plan to do this weekend. It is my 29th. Ahh the last birthday before my long year. A few goals for this weekend.

1. Don't pass out before 9 pm. Since its starting right after work, I must remember to pace myself, and more importantly eat!! I think the Red Lion was a good choice. I must load up on fish and chips before I delve headfirst into the snakebites.

2. Don't pass out on the bar. Meaning, I should not drink rum and cokes. The now sadly defunct Lakeview Lounge was the place where many a times I tried to sleep on their bar.

3. Don't get into any fights. The scene of my last birthday fight was at 25, coincidently after I left the Red Lion. I'm too old for that shit.

4. Don't fall on the dancefloor of the Liar's Club with my dress over my head. I will finally have to win my war with gravity to get past this one.

5. Most importantly. Do not pass out in the bathroom!! Many of the bars of Chicago and Iowa City have been graced with my passed out form in one of their bathroom stalls.

Well I guess if I follow this list I won't be partying like a rock star, but at least I can say that I have. If you've never done any of the following, I suggest you ignore my rules and go for it. You haven't lived yet my friend.

I rock so you don't have to......

2005-08-29T13:19:00.000-05:00

Okay, so I know its been awhile my dear friends. I've been pre-occupied with work and art crap. So now that I have a little breathing room again, I can once again rejoin the world of bloggin.

So I entered an art contest, which now I wait in anticipation to see if I got into. Below are the works I submitted. Its for a show called "A Show of Heads". Wish me luck.

Rock out with your cock out my brothas!!!!

2005-07-22T16:06:00.000-05:00

Okay, so I know I've been missing in action recently. I spent the week two weeks ago taking care of AngieLaLa and Roz's cat while they were on vacation. Then last week I helped Kesha move into her new condo because her roomate decided it would be a good time to take a vacation. Never underestimate the power of common sense my friends. So Dave, yes I've gotten your emails, and I will call and write back. I'm spending tonight by myself because I haven't had a full night home in awhile. I am looking foward to enjoying my current picks from Netflix: Goremghast (this was a BBC miniseries, it was on a few years ago) PBS's reality shows 1900s House and 1940s House. So yes, once again I've verified that I'm a flaming dork. But what can you do.

I have been missed and I feel loved

2005-07-08T12:23:00.000-05:00

Thanks Josh, glad to know I am one of your bright spots during the day (or night really if you want to be technical). So to recap my Fourth of July weekend. Went home for my cousin Jenny's bridal shower and bachelorette party. Her friends hired a stripper and it got raunchy real quick. He performed in my parents backyard and some of the female neighbors came out and started dishing dollar bills over the fence. Some of my cousins and myself played lets hide from the stripper as not to attract attention, so we baracaded ourselves with plenty o'lawn chairs. After that we got on the booze bus which carted us around to different bars. Mind you, I've never really ever been to any bars in Des Moines except Hairy Mary's (which if it is still open, would have been cool, but this group of ladies probably didn't like that kind of place). We went to a few divey joints and then ended the night at a place called Miss Kitty's. This bar and all it stands for it the sole reason I would never move back to Des Moines. Its a Country-Western and Hip-Hop club. You can only imagine what kind of hell-spawn frequents this place. First, the bar was full of a bunch of honkeys. Pure 100% white-bread heaven. Most of the crowd donned flannels and cowboy hats. I think if I should ever burn in hell it would look like this place. I realized then, that no matter what city I live in, there must be some kinda flavor other than vanilla. I spent a good part of the night drinkin it up with Jenny's future mother-in-law. Fun lady once she's had a couple of drinks. So that was pretty much the highlight of the weekend. Well no, the real highlight was that I found a 400 thread count sheet set at dillards for $12 and a red martini shaker for $2.50. Wow, thats kinda sad.

Glam Rock Name Generator

2005-06-29T15:46:00.000-05:00

Glam Rock Name Generator

I got this from Kelly on Myspace

Mine's Kitty Fabulous!!! It fits me perfectly.

My eye twitch has returned with a vengence!!

2005-06-29T14:56:00.000-05:00

Its been five years since I've had a nervous eye twitch. The last time was when I was putting in 100 hr work weeks at my old job. I feel like Glen/Glenda from Bride of Chucky. My co-workers should be wary. At any moment I could break out in wedding dress and drag make-up and blow torch someone with a can of hairspray and a lighter. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

I'm putting my foot down!!!

2005-06-22T15:59:00.000-05:00

I'm going home at five today and I'm going to take a nap in the air conditioned confines of my bedroom.

That is all.

One Word: Beef Juice

2005-06-20T08:49:00.000-05:00

On Friday, Roz and Angie invited a few friends over for some fantastic lasagna. It was a last meal for Nithia (am I spelling her name right?) before she went on a 17 hour journey to India for a month to visit some family. Angie's drummer, Jonathan also came over. So we start talking about possible band names for their band, because apparently Red Shift either sounds like something else or whatever. Anyways, as things go when I'm around, it fell into the ridiculous. So my vote is still for Beef Juice, or because umlauts make everything cooler: Beef Jüs!!

I am so tired!!! SLEEP NOW!!!!

2005-06-17T13:06:00.000-05:00

Last night I went to a fantastic new restaurant called Allen's with Kesha. Had amazing food and wine. Woke up this morning with a hangover. I had 4 glasses of wine. When did this start happening. Oh to be in my younger years again when my body could handle it more. I'm just draggin today. All I want to do is curl up and go to sleep. I just need to get through a few more hours then I can be like a bump on a log at Roz's place.

SLEEP NOW!

Another picture that makes me laugh

2005-06-16T15:43:00.000-05:00

Happy Bloomsday Everybody!

2005-06-16T09:05:00.000-05:00

101 years ago, Leopold Bloom made his way through Dublin in Ulysses. Celebrate by either drinking a Guiness or enjoy some port wine with gorgonzola and mustard sandwiches. Below is a link for a easy walk through of Ulysses.

Ulysses for Dummies

I am the United Nations bitches!

2005-06-15T09:35:00.000-05:00

You're
the United Nations!

Most people think you're ineffective, but you are trying to
completely save the world from itself, so there's always going to be a long
way to go. You're always the one trying to get friends to talk to each
other, enemies to talk to each other, anyone who can to just talk instead of
beating each other about the head and torso. Sometimes it works and sometimes
it doesn't, and you get very schizophrenic as a result. But your heart
is in the right place, and sometimes also in New York.
face="Times New Roman">Take the Country
Quiz at the Blue Pyramid

I am a rock goddess!!!!!

2005-06-15T07:55:00.000-05:00

So, last night I was hanging out with Roz and Ang. Angie mentioned that in college she was friends with a guy whose father was in the band Styx. At this point I mentioned I would love to meet him so I could do the robot for him. The both gave me a weird a look so I started to singing:

Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto, domo...domo
Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto, domo...domo
Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto, domo...domo

They then both said, "That's not Styx, that was from Yes or some band like that"

I said NO!!! That is Styx you bitches!! I had that song on tape when I was but a young lass!

Roz decided it was time to break out the DSL. So we get on line, and low an behold -- Who is the rock goddess?!! It me, like ya bitches didn't already know that. I rock so hard it hurts.

2005-06-09T11:32:00.000-05:00

Future Evil Overlords of the World!!!! Drew and Reese must mask their war cry behind the shower curtain, as to hear it directly would be more than mankind could handle.

2005-06-09T11:30:00.001-05:00

The dork runs strong in our family.

2005-06-09T11:30:00.000-05:00

What she really wants is to devour your soul!

No matter what you do, you just can't win!

2005-06-09T09:39:00.000-05:00

So I found out this morning, a guy who works in the quote department got his bike stolen in an attempt to not get it stolen from our lot. Rather than chaining to our lot's bike fence, because as you all know now, we don't have the best security systems in place, he decided to put it under the Metra viaduct on the huge bike rack there, figuring, more traffic, less chance of theft. Well it got stolen yesterday. So that makes it 4 bikes this year. The security system for mine is going in place.

Oh well, anywho, so I get $500 for Justyna coming on board on our company. It will be a wildfire night again soon!!! I just wonder how long it will take to get my check. I'm also going to buy my rock star shoes with it. They are $100, but it will be worth it.

Look and covet bitches!!!!

Are you jealous yet of my sweet shoes?!!

I'm the company bitch!!

2005-06-08T10:47:00.000-05:00

So as you already know, my bike was stolen. Today it occurred to me that now that I know that other bikes were stolen before mine, how come this was never released to the company. I know that if I had known that there were bikes being stolen from our lot, I would have locked my bike down even more, but I had assumed it was safe there since its the same place where the president of our company parks and its gated. So the more I think about nobody being notified of property theft, the more I get pissy. I was talking to Louanne about this at work and she suggested that I bring this to Paul, our company president, because, A- He's a cool guy and B- All the yes men who surround him probably don't let him know whats going on for real.
So I return to my desk and I get a call from Louanne about 10 minutes later. She told me she ran into Paul and asked him if he's heard anything else about the bikes being stolen out of the lot, well needless to say he didn't and he said he was going to have a talk with the head of the security team (who also happens to be a VP here). So its official, I'm the company bitch cause I'm getting ol'boy in heaps of trouble.

Like I said, nobody steals my stuff and gets away unscathed.

My new bike I'm ordering

2005-06-07T13:13:00.000-05:00

Sweet, isn't it.

PISSED OFF TO THE Nth DEGREE!!!!!!!

2005-06-07T09:32:00.000-05:00

So yesterday my bike was stolen at work. Thats just great. My favorite mode of transportation is now gone. The fuck-twats who stole my bike didn't realize that there was a securtiy cam on them at all times. So not only were their faces caught, but also the license plate number on their car. And I'm delighted to learn that in Illinois, any property over $300 is considered a felony... my bike is worth $300 ha ha, motherfucka's are gonna get caught. So be on the look out for a white ford pick-up with a white hood on the bed. Their license plate is Wisconsin Truck Plates AN 29-062. You see this truck, key it or break a tail light then call me to let me know where it is. The vendetta is on. Its a white dude and mexican dude. The white dude does the actual stealing and the mexican dude is the look out. What, strangely enough, even upsets me more, is I found out that the guy who's bike I coveted (some of you might have heard me go on about the guy with the cool white bike before), his also got stolen a few weeks ago. I think it might be the same people since they are targeting only certain types of bikes -- a.k.a the expensive ones.

Also, jack-asses at work pissed me off because the guy who's the head of security has his head up his ass. Chris, the night guard saw this going on, but is unable to call the police because he isn't allowed to review the tape for the cops. So I had to report this morning. Then the morning receptionist told me I had to wait until 11 to file, because someone else needed to be behind the desk with her. I at this point got uber-pissed and then shot off a letter to the head of the security team letting him know that he's doing a piece of shit job and that even though my company has no financial libilty for the bike, they should at least make an attempt to try and assist us when stuff like this happens. Then my boss went up to talk to him.. I like my boss today.

There's a typhoon outside my window

2005-06-04T15:15:00.000-05:00

This morning it was hot as hell, next thing I now its monsoon season in chicago. Ahh well, I'm at work on a Saturday and bored.

Check out Master Yoda's Blog in my link section

2005-05-31T09:18:00.000-05:00

There is a delightful commentary on Oprah as a Sith Lord. Also check out the movie quotes. Thanks Jess and Chris!

2005-05-27T16:16:00.000-05:00

I saw this picture as some dude's profile picture in friendster and had to post it. Is it wrong that I started to laugh out loud at work because of this. I can't help but giggle everytime I look at this. I think I'm on a real evil bunny theme here.

My co-workers accidentally caught a glimpse of my insanity....

2005-05-24T17:00:00.000-05:00

Most people who know me, know I will break into song and dance at almost anytime. That is except at work. Yet today, maybe due to my illness (I do feel like I'm dying here), when Leo came up to move all the dead computers, I broke into a little dance and sang something to the effect "Don't forget these ones... don't forget these ones...." I got a "What the hell was that" from one of my co-workers. Ahhh well, its not like I could keep it a secret forever.

2005-05-24T16:26:00.000-05:00

Me in 50 years.....

Check out my new astrology link

2005-05-24T15:58:00.000-05:00

I think Josh will especially enjoy it.

Turn around ass eyes.... turn around

2005-05-20T12:52:00.000-05:00

This is for you ass eyes!

The good, the bad and the lame

2005-05-19T11:47:00.000-05:00

So I saw Star Wars - Revenge of the Sith last night. My short review without giving too much away. The first half was boring, slow, and lame in some parts. After the first 20 minutes I was hoping rest of the movie wouldn't be like this. Not to say it was as bad as Episode I and II, but it was just soooo slow.

But then the second part of the movie totally made up for the first part. It was awesome with a few continuity errors along the way for the original three, but thats something you'll have to see for yourself.

So new Star Wars Ratings (best to worst)

Empire Strikes Back
A New Hope
Revenge of the Sith
Return of the Jedi
The Clone Wars
The Phantom Menace

Yes, you saw it, it reached my goal. I would say it was good movie if it was better than Return of the Jedi, which I think was setting the bar low, but hey, I and II didn't reach it, so I had to.

Angel actually created this

P.S. I am so extremely tired right now. I need a nap seriously.

Star Wars! Nothin but Star Wars......

2005-05-18T08:40:00.000-05:00

So I'm seeing Episode III tonight with Angel and Co. I'm praying it does not blow.

Cold chillen on a sunday afternoon

Stardust and Beer Cheese Soup

2005-05-16T12:36:00.000-05:00

So this weekend, J and I went to go see Stardust, a play based on the Neil Gaimen novel. I can't say enough how excellent it is, everyone needs to see it, especially if they are a Neil Gaimen fan - I'm talking to you Dave. In a somewhat interesting twist of events, the tickets did not have the address, I had a somewhat vague idea of where the theater was, but since I knew my upstairs neighbors, Paul and Vanessa worked with the theater group, I decided to call Vanessa and ask where it was. She obviously knew where it was, but even more importantly she was in the play!! Look for the queen witch, and man did she play it well.

Afterwards, J and I went over to Chief O'Neils on elston. They have the best beer cheese soup. We ate, then drank like fish and debated calling people at various hours of the night. Two drunk old friends are usually up to no good. We both commented that there was no eye-candy for us that night. I did get hit on by a skeezy drunk guy a couple of times. Once coming out of the bathroom and again trying to get drinks at the bar. Him and his cohorts at one point were trying to hit each other in the nuts. You know thats a quality man there for you.

The only regret I have from that night is that I missed Jim and Kelly's call about getting a drink. They live so close by that if I would have gotten the message earlier I would have invited them along. Ahh, we'll have to do it again sometime soon guys!

Chief O’Neils- 3471 N. Elston - Chicago, Ill

Stardust Info

I am cursed!!! (a.k.a Oh Happy Day)

2005-05-10T11:48:00.000-05:00

So this last week I saw Ju-On and The Grudge (american version obviously). I absolutly loved Ju-On. Loved it so much in fact there's a four-disc version out with Ju-On, Ju-On2 and the original television versions in Japanese that started the whole thing. I wish I had watched the Grudge first because many of the questions I had when watching Ju-On were answered in the Grudge because they needed to explain things apparently every Japanese person would understand, but not americans. So anyways to the cursed part.

So this last week, every now and then I'd pick up my cell phone and hear this strange random beat clicking noise. At first I thought my cell phone must be going batty, since its pretty fucked up in the first place and I really need to buy a new one. But then yesterday, I get a call from J on my work phone and the clicky noises started again on there. The clicky noises are following me everywhere. This seemed similar to the cracky groany noises from Ju-On and the Grudge that were on the telephone, so hence I must have inevidably cursed myself. But I don't think I'm doomed to die quickly, I think I've been cursed with mediocrity. My life has been and is pretty damn boring, I need to make it exciting again. But then again most of my past excitements revolved around druggin and boozin. My body can't take that kind of a beatin anymore. Oh well. I guess I should also beware of any small japanese boys hanging around with black cats.

Maybe I should go to vegas with J for our birthdays. That would be excitin.

Is so funny because he's so soft and I'm so hard....

2005-05-09T13:47:00.000-05:00

A snippet of conversation overheard at the cubs game by a pack o'trixies behind us. This was a description of one's brother who is now 29 and married with a family and apparently he has no problem with crying. I burst out laughing when I heard this statement. For those of you not from the chicago area, you can find out what a trixie is by checking this FAQ I clipped from the domain dead lptrixie.com

Trixie F.A.Q.The Society often fields questions from Members, Friends or Media regarding the Trixie Lifestyle. To assist in answering many of these questions, the executive board has prepared this list of Frequently Asked Questions. For information or to offer a suggestion or correction, please e-mail Jill Martin, Director of Membership.

1. What is the average age of a Trixie?
The average age of Society members is between 22 and 36 years of age. Some popular myths claim that the typical Trixie is younger than this averaged, perhaps even college-aged. However, this is definitely the case. To support the wide variety of ages and social standings of our members, the Society has created different membership levels to meet the individual needs of each group. For example, the Pixie level membership is reserved for College-aged girls (20-22), while the Super Trixie level is reserved for those women who have reached the pinnacle of social success (28 and 36). For additional information, please refer to our Membership Guidelines.

2. Are all Trixies Single?
No. Among all Society members, approximately 45% are married, with the remainder being single or even divorced. The average single Trixie is between 22 and 26 years of age. For the typical single Trixie, the approach of age 26-29 signals the time to retire the college lifestyle and begin the search for the right husband.

3. Is it required that all Trixies look and act alike?
Emphatically No! Many people believe Trixies must look and act alike, for some silly reason. But the truth is that the Society and its members are a tediously diverse group. A cross-section of the Village's residents reveals that Trixies often choose to look and act like their best friends and coworkers, but these girls often take small, subtle risks to differentiate themselves from their peers. For example, when Kate Spade handbags were first introduced, all Trixies bought the standard black model because that's what everybody else did. Nowadays, however, some Trixies venture away from the standard black bag and buy blue, green and even white bags. Other Trixies have been known to buy white Jettas, or stray from Starbucks and buy their Lattes at places like the Corner Bakery, Seattle's Best, Caribou or even Peet's.

4. Is the Society a "Husband Shopping" organization??
No! The Society does not classify itself as an organization dedicated to finding members the correct spouse. In fact, with nearly half of all Society members already married, little effort goes into matchmaking. While the Society does urge its members to find the *right* husband, matchmaking per-se is not our purpose. That's what all of Lincoln Park's bars, clubs and restaurants are for. Places like the Marquee Lounge or Tilli's are among the best and brightest places to find the perfect husband (or Trixie wife).

5. Do you have to drive a Jetta to be a Trixie?
Absolutely not! Some of the more successful members of the Society drive BMWs, Land Rovers or even Land Cruisers. However, the Jetta remains the most popular car amongst typical Society members due to its affordability and its similarity to the BMW 3-series.

6. Do all Trixies live in Lincoln Park?
No. While most Trixies do live in Lincoln Park (and are highly encouraged to do so), some members choose to live outside the Village's boundaries for whatever reasons. In a historic move, the Board approved a measure in fall 2000 to expand the Society's official borders to include Lakeview, Wrigleyville, Bucktown, and the Gold Coast. For additional information, please refer to our new boundaries map.

7. Why is Starbucks so important to Trixie Culture?
As chain coffee stores like Starbucks have begun to truly define neighborhoods, Trixies have come to embrace this trend for several reasons: First, Starbucks is an impressive place to buy your coffee, plain and simple. With the myriad of different adjectives you can use to define your latte, you're bound to stand out and make a statement about how smart you are. Secondly, Starbucks is not cheap. While many Trixies exist on a shoestring budget (due to the need to buy the most impressive clothes and showbox apartments), holding a Starbucks cup silently tells your coworkers and best friends that you've made it. And that's what being a Trixie is all about. For more me information on the tons of Village-area Starbucks stores, please refer to the Society's Starbucks Guide.

8. Can Trixies Smoke?
This is a very touchy subject. There are very select times when it is permissible for a Trixie to smoke: (1) when strictly when in a social situation where liquor is involved, such as an evening out with best friends at the Marquee Lounge, and (2) when in one's own home or another totally private place or alone with other Trixies who secretly smoke. It is NOT acceptable for a Trixie to smoke in other situations, such as walking down Armitage or driving one's Jetta through the Village. Cigarette smoking is dirty, and most Trixies just don't want to be associated with such a nasty habit, even though so many girls are heavily addicted to their Marlboro Lights. If you need to smoke when not in an acceptable setting, make sure you duck out of sight into an alley or other location that will appropriately mask your nasty habit.

9. "Don't stare at me!!": Why this is OK.
One of the most pressing questions asked of the Society by members and friends is "I'm incredibly good looking, and I don't care if guys I approve of look at me, but I don't want guys I DON'T like staring me down!" This is a feeling experienced by most Trixies as a group, and often occurs in public places, such as on the Ravenswood Train or standing in line at Starbucks. While there are no known remedies to completely obliterate this bothersome problem, the Society recommends that members who are victimized by such a situation give the offender your best quick nasty glance. This often makes the offender quickly turn away and mine his (or her) own business.

*************************************************************************************

Anyways, also this weekend my brother, sister and brother in law were in town. We saw aforementioned cubs game, played miniture golf and I was second with one stroke off my brother in laws score, much to my brothers dismay, saw an IMAX movie for the first time and that was pretty cool (yes Dave I will now attend these with you), went to the ESPN Zone (but Dave and Busters is better for this kind of entertainment), went on a search for a good burrito and stayed at a nice hotel which ended up killing my neck and shoulders which I'm still feeling today. So that was the long and short of it.

I've officially lived in this city for over 10 years and I haven't......

2005-05-05T12:32:00.000-05:00

So I have tomorrow off (YEAH!!) and my sister, brother-in-law and brother will be up for a long weekend. We are going to a Cubs game tomorrow, the first one I've ever been too. Pretty sad considering I've lived here for over 10 years now. (hence the title of this post) But I look forward to it, I plan on being totally trashed by the end of the game too. I'm also interested to see what they are wanting to do. I've never done any of the touristy trash or even things that would make me a more enlightened human being. Yes I have been to the Field Museum, the Art Institute, MCA, Terra and all that trash, but I still have not done the following:

1. Taste of Chicago - I suppose I should go at some point, but lets face it, I hate large crowds of people and I have better things to do than be in a crush of people when its above 90 degrees.

2. The Jazz Festival - This is not to be confused with the Blues fest, which I have been to twice. I like Jazz, theres no reason I should not go except that I'm super lazy.

3. The Air and Water Show - I use to love that crap as a kid. Once again, the super lazy factor comes in.

4. The Southside St. Patricks Day Parade - I wanted to go this year. I can't remember why I didn't. Probably got trashed the night before and couldn't wake up for it. Justyna, weren't we supposed to go to this?

5. Any Bulls Game - So the tickets are cheap now, but the Bulls seem to be getting better. Should I go? Yes! Will I go? Not unless someone gets me a ticket. Angel any help on this one.

So thats just a small list of crap I haven't done since living here. Oh well, still got time.

My MOTHERF*@#ING Yahoo email isn't working!!!

2005-05-03T16:26:00.000-05:00

I keep getting a page not loaded message everytime I try to go to the inbox. Anyone else having this problem?

Do you ever feel like ripping your bosses head off and gourging yourself on their neck blood

2005-04-21T08:43:00.000-05:00

Thats about how I feel today and its not even 9 am. Pretty sad. This might be a chain smoking day. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

What song is your jam!

2005-04-13T12:05:00.000-05:00

Okay a random poll, what song do think if your jam. You know when it comes on you turn it up real loud and yell "This is my jam!" Yes, I do know I do that all of the time with any Journey, Bon Jovi, or Clash song. I'll go first. My song is Boys and Girls from Blur. Those of you at my birthday party a two years ago will remember the sychronized dancing. Those of you at a party at Justyna and Josh's will also remember the booty version between Justyna, Jimmy, and myself in the living room. But that is my all time jam!

I swear to God my life is a Loverboy song

2005-04-08T13:43:00.000-05:00

I don't know how people can deal with working in an office. It boggles my mind. I work with people who have been here for over twenty years. Its crazy. So a late Happy Birthday to Angel.
Heres a sexy birthday picture just for you:

Enjoy Brotha!

10 Things I do to annoy my friends

2005-04-07T15:52:00.000-05:00

A list. Feel free to add any I've missed.

1. Poke you in the head repeadily when I am drunk
2. Give you a wet willie when I am drunk
3. Punching you in the gut when I am drunk
4. Getting in fights with random people when I am drunk
5. Thinking that all the worlds a stage and I'm on Broadway when I am drunk
6. Throwing my cats at you when I am drunk
7. Slapping your ass when I am drunk
8. Singing Journey when I am drunk
9. Getting into arguments over the only band that matter when I am drunk
10. Passing out early only to return to full hyperactive status a few hours later when I am drunk

As you can see, I'm a perfect angel when I am sober

Band of the Day

2005-04-04T09:49:00.000-05:00

JOURNEY.... need I say more.

For funny things that don't make a fool out of Dave

2005-04-04T08:53:00.000-05:00

http://www.encyclopedia-of-sex.com/

Chicks with Sticks

2005-04-01T12:21:00.000-06:00

Is it obvious I'm trying not to work today. Well thinking of things on April Fools day, I remembered the best joke I ever played on anyone. Although it wasn't used on April Fools day, its something to think about if you have a non-savey computer friend.

So, a few years ago, my friend Dave made the mistake of leaving Angel and I in his apartment unattended. He had a date (yes Mr. Dave did go out with somebody). Angel started the night off when Dave went to clean snow off his car (as it was winter). The chick Dave was going on a date with called. Angel answered the phone and pretended he didn't speak english. She hung up. She called again a few minutes later, again Angel speak no english. Dave comes back up, we're giggling like a couple of little girls, Dave doesn't think anything of it.

Well he left for his date. Angel and I got bored and decided to surf the internet on Dave's computer. We decided that we needed to find bizarre porn. We landed on a chicks with sticks site. We found the perfect picture, this "lady" was holding "her" dripping stick. Since Dave is not good with said computer, we thought it would be lovely if we made that picture his wallpaper (mind you this is also on a Mac, a little different set up than a PC). Then we hid the picture deep in a folder never to be found, who knows maybe its still there.

Dave gets home, we're a gigglin again. We decide to watch movies, Dave does not check his email at this time. And the computer is off.

The next morning I get a call at 10 am basically Dave's freaking out because:

A. There a chick with a stick as his wallpaper
B. He doesn't know how to get it off

Many hours later he is able to get it off the wallpaper, but unable to find said pic. I got cursed out, but it was worth it. Dave never left us alone in his apartment again.

Something to Contemplate

2005-04-01T11:18:00.000-06:00

Your thoughts?

Its April Fools Day Dontcha Know

2005-04-01T10:53:00.000-06:00

Do you remember when this was a big deal when you were a kid? Does anyone as an adult "celebrate" this anymore? I can remember as a kid playing jokes on people, especially tormenting my siblings, but I can't recall exactly what I did? I think my mind is going, oh well, it was a good friend while it was here.

I would say that the pope is dead, which is usually a popular choice this time of year, but it just maybe true today. Of course the Vatican could be celebrating this holiday too, and tomorrow the pope will be doing laps in the gym.

Ahh what could I do that would really upset someone. Any suggestions?

My first posting

2005-03-31T13:16:00.000-06:00

Josh, are you happy now!

Okay to start things off on a totally inappropriate note, I have a joke as told to me by my co-worker Chris. But before I give the answer, how about y'all tell me what you think it should be.

Trust me, it'll be fun.

Most creative gets a monkey head.

Have I tempted you enough?

Okay here's the joke.

What did the priest say to Michael Jackson?