I have been missed and I feel loved

Thanks Josh, glad to know I am one of your bright spots during the day (or night really if you want to be technical). So to recap my Fourth of July weekend. Went home for my cousin Jenny's bridal shower and bachelorette party. Her friends hired a stripper and it got raunchy real quick. He performed in my parents backyard and some of the female neighbors came out and started dishing dollar bills over the fence. Some of my cousins and myself played lets hide from the stripper as not to attract attention, so we baracaded ourselves with plenty o'lawn chairs. After that we got on the booze bus which carted us around to different bars. Mind you, I've never really ever been to any bars in Des Moines except Hairy Mary's (which if it is still open, would have been cool, but this group of ladies probably didn't like that kind of place). We went to a few divey joints and then ended the night at a place called Miss Kitty's. This bar and all it stands for it the sole reason I would never move back to Des Moines. Its a Country-Western and Hip-Hop club. You can only imagine what kind of hell-spawn frequents this place. First, the bar was full of a bunch of honkeys. Pure 100% white-bread heaven. Most of the crowd donned flannels and cowboy hats. I think if I should ever burn in hell it would look like this place. I realized then, that no matter what city I live in, there must be some kinda flavor other than vanilla. I spent a good part of the night drinkin it up with Jenny's future mother-in-law. Fun lady once she's had a couple of drinks. So that was pretty much the highlight of the weekend. Well no, the real highlight was that I found a 400 thread count sheet set at dillards for $12 and a red martini shaker for $2.50. Wow, thats kinda sad.