Evil Tadpole

My minions will arise in glorious revolution!

Thursday, September 29, 2005

Thursday Fun: Robots

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Somebody's gonna get an ass kickin...

So I come into work this morning to find out that some jackass had deleted a central program I wrote. Now if it was a mistake I could understand, but yesterday someone had deleted an entire folder with all of our departments reports. And now come to find out that the export team had their Nafta file mysteriously disappear three days ago. This does not seem like a coincidence to me. Three major items for our company mysteriously get deleted over three days. Help Desk is doing a trace now and when I find out who did it, they better watch their ass. I'm out for blood.

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Smitty's had the best tenderloins!

You Know You're From Iowa When...

Vacation means driving through the Amanas or going to Adventureland

Down South to you means Missouri

You have no problem spelling or pronouncing "Des Moines"

You know the answer to the question, :"Is this Heaven?"

You know where all the Yoders live (or Andersons, or Van den Bergs)

You know what "hawks" and "clones" are

All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit or vegetable

You can locate Iowa on the map

You've ever been on a "Geode Hunt"

Your idea of a really great tenderloin is when the meat is twice as big as the bun and is accompanied only by ketchup and a dill pickle slice

You say "catty-wampus" instead of "kitty-corner"

You've never taken public transportation

You have boiled fish in lye for Christmas

You know what "uff-da" means and how to use it properly

You know what "Amish Country" is

The only reason you go to Wisconsin or Missouri is to get fireworks

You know exactly where "Field of Dreams" was filmed

When someone says they are going out for dinner or supper, you know which meal they are talking about. You listen to "Paul Harvey" every day at noon.

You think of the major food groups as deer meat, beer, corn, and soy nuts.

You're pulled over and asked by the cop, "Had a little to much to drink, (your first name here)?

You own the complete "Dukes of Hazzard" video collection.

"Hick" is a style of clothing.

You can use the words, 'crik', 'holler', and 'skunk weed' in the same sentence.

Your Christmas gift, when you were ten years old was a shotgun (a BB gun if you were a 'townie').

You know someone personally who is involved in meth trade or manufacture.

Your idea of a party is throwing cans of WD40 in a campfire while you're drunk.

You've been to a rave in a barn.

You've had sex in the back of a truck ... amid cows.

You know that cows don't sleep standing up.

You're concerned about the rates of corn growth in Illinois as compared to that of Iowa's.

You listen to Ag Day at 6AM ... two hours after you get up in the morning.

You believe that trees in Iowa lean towards Nebraska ... because Nebraska sucks!

You know several people who still refer to Japanese cars as "rice-burners."

"Styx" plays a concert at the county fair, and people actually show up.

You don't get nervous when you walk into a biker bar (unless you're an Iowa City cop).

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Iowa.

Monday, September 26, 2005

Naked Man Strikes Again!

So this last weekend we all celebrated Justyna's birthday. Friday night about 18 of us had a lovely dinner at DragonFly then moved on the the Buzz Club (I think thats the name, who knows). Anyways, it was kinda lame except the free drinks for the first hour. So we drank as much as possible then resumed the party at the Liar's club. Now some of the people who were at J's party had heard of the naked man from my birthday, yet did not believe us. But once again, he was there shakin all he had (which wasn't a whole lot, Justyna still contends he's a grower). So, first the people who didn't believe us were amazed. Then, as a said in one of my previous entries, I decided to actually look up. So the guy had kinda buzzed greyish hair and was probably not much taller than me, most likely somewhere between 5'9" and 5'11". So besides naked man, we got good and drunk. I lost an earring and bracelet. Jim kept getting harrassed by a guy who said he looked like Paul Reubens, Dave got laid (yeah Dave!!! - as he was crossing the street with his lady we were pumping our fists in the air yelling "Go Dave") and Jeanne was getting hit on by two guys at once. I ended up going back to Josh and Justyna's place where we endulged in white castles then passed out.

The next day, I woke up with a ragin hangover and prayed at the alter of the porcelain god. We rented Shaun of the Dead which Justyna loved like I knew she would and we got Harolds Chicken. Now I haven't had Harold's Chicken since it closed in uptown, I love that stuff, but there must be some weird hallucenagenics in that chicken because I had the most bizarre and vivid dreams that night. I found out that Josh did too. That's some crazy ass crap.

Anyways, I spent the rest of the weekend recovering. I'm gettin old.